Intimacy and sex – many think they are one and the same thing. But, if you have ever had sex with someone and walked away feeling empty and unsatisfied, you more than likely just had sex with no intimacy. For some, that is exactly what they want. A simple, no-strings-attached style of sex, where they are not obligated to explore their feelings or emotions. They don’t need to make empty promises and worry about disappointing anyone.
Sure, there are those that want that, but the majority of humans want some form of intimacy. And, many try to get that through sex … big, big mistake!
It is important to understand that you can most definitely have good sex without intimacy, and in fact, without love. They can be completely separated from each other, and very often, with repeat sexual contact, intimacy … and love sometimes, can develop.
Sex or Making Love?
Aaah, yes, those that refer to “having sex” vs. “making love” is definitely in the bracket of no-strings sex, and that is okay. The real issue comes when one party thinks they are making love and the other thinks they are having sex.
In today’s modern and very open society, you would think that this conversation would come up before the actual deed. But no, people tend to rush into sex, which in itself is still an intimate pastime, and when it’s all said and done, most times there is disappointment experienced from one of the partakers.
Ask anyone this question, “Which is more intimate? Connecting yourself to another with your genitals or laying spoon-position holding each other close?” Guaranteed, 99% will answer the latter as being the more intimate activity, clothes on or off.
Greater forms of intimacy exist
Opening the door and giving a quick smile – cook someone’s fave dish – ensure they have their cup of coffee hot and waiting as they awake – leave a sweet message on their voicemail after you just said goodbye 5 minutes before … these are all acts of intimacy.
In fact, you will find that dating couples, who haven’t yet stepped into the world of sex with each other, will often do these greater forms of intimacy (and, yes often afterwards too). And, when they do have sex, it will most likely be super intimate – way more than if they had just dived into bed together from word go.
If you find you are in an intimate-less relationship and crave more, have that conversation. What have you got to lose? Possibly the loss of a lover or friend – sure – not nice – but, then you leave yourself open to exploring other options and finding that right mix of intimacy and sex you do need and want.
At Wicked Wendy’s, we love to promote intimacy and all our items allow for couples, singles and others to explore all facets and angles of their sexual life. Take a look at our accessories, toys and outfits to choose from when you’re ready to play and get intimate.