Quarantined away from your partner? Need some self-love? Here’s how to keep it exciting.

Whether you can’t be with your partner(s) during the lockdown, or you’re just looking for interesting ways to keep your own bits happy, we’ve got you covered.

I started a relationship right before lockdown. We’d been talking for a while, but our first date was literally the week before Cyril was like “now you’re all going on a time out”.

There was all the anxiety we’re all feeling in general about the lockdown, stocking up on food, concerned about our families, etc. But, then I also wondered: “Will my brand new relationship survive this?”

So, I devised a plan. A sexy plan.

And, I’m going to give you the framework for how to keep the spark alive even if you can’t physically touch your partner.

Learn about each other’s kinks

Do they think it’s sexy when you paint your nails? Do they like a certain colour? Do they have a thing for feet? Do either of you like anal play? Or, have a certain fascination with a certain part of your partner’s body? Their eyes, lips, toes, butt?

Find out! Either by asking directly (but, like in a sexy way) or talking about your fantasies.

Take the time to embrace the freakiness, but also don’t go rushing in with a sexual bucket list unless that’s explicitly asked for. Maybe, keep the fact that you’d like to sink into a tub of baked beans until after lockdown is over.

Get creative with your sexting

Whether you’re in a D/s relationship, switch, vanilla, or just a little kinky, you’re gonna have to get creative with how you say things/give orders/take orders or describe how horny you are right now.

You’re basically in a Jane Austen novel now and you’re going to have to write sexy love letters to your partner(s). Also, would you be turned on by your partner just going: “I have such a big erection right now, I wish you were here so we could have sex”?

Not really that sexy, right? Be descriptive. Use sexy words. Use expletives where necessary. Type an essay about the things you want to do to your SO’s body. Read erotic fiction, and learn how to say the stuff your partner will respond to.

Instead of “I really wish you were here right now so we could have sex”, try “I am aching for you. I want you so badly. I’d like to straddle you and kiss you hard before we ...” You can guess where the sentence would go from there.

Don’t just send nudes

Send art.

Make a little effort. Solicited dick pics are sexy, but even more so if you take them from the right angle, slap a little black and white filter on there, or even make it a GIF.  Your other half will be licking their lips for the rest of the day. Quarantine need not be boring!

If you have body art, use it to enhance your pictures. Also, not showing your entire body can be sexy. If you have a leg tattoo, for instance, you can take a picture in bed where you’re completely covered, except for your tattoo, but it’s obvious you’re naked.

Also, pro tip: I usually suggest not including your face in your nudes, just in case they can be used against you.

Make them do the things that you would normally do to them

Do they like being spanked? Edging? Have sensitive nipples? Do a video call or a phone call and have them do things to themselves that you would normally do, consensually, of course. Mutual masturbation can be incredibly hot, or even an undiscovered kink.

If they have toys, make them use them. Those vibrating panties? Or vibrating butt plug, the type you take control of when it gets to vibrate.

Have them put ice on their nipples or use clothes pegs for clamps. Make them get very close to orgasm and keep them on the edge.

But ALWAYS discuss rules and safe words first. You don’t want to be in the middle of a Skype call with your boss and then get a video of them masturbating, having to explain where that noise was coming from.

Love your self

Whether you’re single, or you just want to have some fun on your own without your partner (which is 100% okay), there are many ways to get off then just a plain ole’ run of the mill 5-minute wank and then go back to the rest of your life.

Whether you do a ‘Samantha’ and masturbate all afternoon, or you just take a few minutes of your time to make it special, you need to take charge of your orgasms.

If you weren’t able to get a great vibrator before lockdown (how are these not essential services? Urgh!), there are other things you use. That neck massager could release another kind of tension, if you know what I mean.

Listen to your body. Do you like your nipples being pinched while you flick the bean? Do you like anal play while you stroke yourself? Have you tried it standing up in the shower or on top of the washing machine during a spin cycle?

Just please, don’t insert anything into your body that can cause internal injuries, or an allergic reaction. Imagine going to a doctor during lockdown because you tried to put deep heat down there and now your genitals are angry with you?

Watch porn

Do you want to watch a man talk dirty to you and then cum? What about genuine lesbian sex where they don’t just scissor for half an hour? Or pegging?

Do you prefer feminist porn, where the actors are of equal attractiveness and everyone actually has orgasms - and it’s sexy, but not smutty?

Or do you get a little heated just by seeing Idris Elba smile? Find the things you like and have you some “me’ time.  The internet can help you here.

In ending, getting through quarantine whilst away from your partner can be tough, but there are creative ways to make it work.  Have fun, read things, do research and remember to stay safe.

Oh, and wash your hands.
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